No motivation... I have no idea why I must force myself to go, and even that forcing is difficult. I know that I am more of a work under pressure kinda gal, but this is ridiculous. 2 weeks ago I calculated that I have to do 24 hours of work a week. I work 30 + hours a week, and I refuse to do school work after 4pm, and on Sundays, which means I should have been at school about 2 hours ago... yet, here I am.
I need to be accountable for someone besides myself in order for this to work properly. I have no problem going to school when there is a set time, and I have a teacher there actually teaching me. Reading a text book drains my soul. Every time I even think to open the textbook my heart sinks a little. It is truly gruelling work. I honestly wish someone would push me; no I don't mean Kevin or my mother once a month saying "Are you even doing any work?" I need someone everyday to be accountable to.
I literally just had an epiphany... I'd rather do things for other people than for myself.
